Man sis, Its so hard to believe it will be one month tomorrow at 8:13 AM - Everyone keeps saying its gets easier in time- I dont feel that, the longer its getting the harder it is - The shock has worn off and reality is setting in - Your really gone, my little sister is dead, at times I get so angry at you, Why didnt you wear your seatbelt, I have been ready the statistic of car accidents and the fatalities, your were 68% in greater risk to die by not wearing it, I know its not doing me any good to try and analize it, but its what I do, I lissen to your voicemail over and over and over again, only to almost pretend we are having a conversation, really how dumb and I, I lay in bed and can hear brother telling that you died over and over again, I have guilt because mom called and I didnt answer and brother called and I didnt I was playing a game with Jace at a birthday party, I called back Cody and he told me, I said " stephanie who"? really thats what I said. I feel so bad for mom, having your daughter and not being able to get ahold of you, she called a hundred times, she started to have this horrible feeling and at 1:21PM the police showed up and asked if she knew Stephanie Perrenoud, Mom said I dont want to answer that, Then they told her and she told then you dont have the right stephanie she doesnt drive a green saturn ( you were in your inlaws car ) - I just keep playing it out over in my head, its almost making me crazy - Well I just wanted to say I love you wherever you are.
Your sister,
Nina
